Perspective

Sept 23 2012

We went to MD and saw a little town. Had lunch. Went to Annapolis. Took pictures of the Naval Academy (while my Air Force husband booed) and too many doors. And we made a promise to go back. But we haven't. Because little did we know, as this picture was taken, I was very sick and life was about to change.

I got diagnosed with AML by treatment that next week . By treatment means it is a secondary cancer to my my orignal cancer, years ago. And so it became. Chemo. Radiation. Hair loss. Weight loss. Friendships lost. Friendships gained. And I survived. I had surgery and lost some female plumbing.  I got to a good place and had an autologous stem cell transplant on 10/10/13. A few short weeks late we got a double whammy. My cancer was in my liver and lungs and my husband was deploying. More chemo.

I reached my 100 day mark post transplant. And tonight , not feeling well, I had a moment while folding laundry

This pile really speaks about the last 16 months. Loose pants with drawstrings. Easy off , easy on, drawstring only. Pajamas. I lived in them. Button tops to reach my port. Tee shorts and sweatshirts. Layers. Chemo and losing female parts made for fun hormones and hot flashes. SOFT tanks. Easy port access and some days the only thing that could touch my skin. And my sicks, My beloved fuzzy socks. I still love them, but when I was weak and cold I got sent a lot with grippers. That helped a lot. Not pictured is the blanket that was so warm. Or my favorite pillow. Or my iPad filled with games and music.

There are parts of this journey that were awful and I am glad that they are over. Carrying bags everywhere in case I got sick. Wearing pull ups because again, you never know. The moment when your hair falls out in clumps.

There are parts of this journey that will stay with me forever. My husband was amazing. Stood by me thick and thin. The friends who just showed up and helped. Didnt ask, just did. The relationship with my parents and my sister are forever changed, for the better. The faith I found when I was sure I was done. The strength I tapped into more times the I can count. The friends who listened to me cry and held me.

And the things that are silly that I am having to have back. Hair bands. Everywhere. Good shampoo. Because, really, when you have no hair, spend 99 cents. Not $4.

Things I will be happy to never see again. A boost or ensure. A zofran tablet. Or reglan . Or any anti nausea meds.

My journey isnt over. Remission isnt reached yet and we have hit another obstacle. But, I have so much to look forward to it . And I plan to live life with a new perspective. To worry less. To smile more. To let it all go and just live, a little more. Be in the moment. Say I love you and mean it.

Number Ten

My husband and I enjoy eating out. He likes to try to new places. I go along because I need to eat. He goes for wild boar, I get salad. See a pattern? BUT this is a new Jen. (yeah, ok, kind of new Jen).

So, last night we decided to try a new restaurant during restaurant week. We have never done it. Fixed Price menu, usually a good deal, and you can try new food. Even I tried something new. For me.

We went to the Wine House. I highly recommend it and we will be back soon. Great wine and even better food. Jay got wild boar sausage, mussels and vanilla cherry bread pudding. I got a poached pear salad, beef provencal, and a chocolate something. Everything was great except the dessert for me. Too rich. And anyone who knows me, knows I love chocolate.

There will be more food adventures to come and soon paying it forward with volunteer work.

Number nine (or I lost my mind.)

See below for my 100 days post.

Today we went to a trapeze class at TSBY. The staff was amazing. Shout out to Elliot :) and to the the other patrons who loved my story. And this blog. So, I hate heights and my comfort zone is little. But I did . It was great.We loved it and will go back :)

Also, check out my photo page if you can help. Contest day. Jen D Photography.

100 days

today is a big day. 100 post stem cell transplant :) We are celebrating big tonight.

Shortly before transplant. We took a vacation to relax. I was a sick girl.

Ideas

I am still searching for ideas. Any suggestions would be great. :) I prefer pay it forward if I can

Number Eight

Todays fun. Placing dollar bills with notes in the dollar store for people to find.

Number Seven

A friend gave me this idea and I thought it was great. Make someones day at an ATM. So I went to two ATMs.

Number Six

I am blessed to be a foster mom to a 12 year , so all the flipping rubber bands around my house came in handy.

I saw this blog post

http://lovingbrifund.org/rainbow-loomers-wanted/

and went to this facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/hopehappenseveryday

and did this ( still making more)

Number Five

I get weekly emails from the USO and Operation Homefront. They support the military and wounded warriors. USO I love because they help many military. The Wounded Warrior Foundation is terrific and they support they give to warriors is great.

Today, I donated to a wounded warrior to help with electricity. I plan to help once a month with helping

Want to help?

http://www.operationhomefront.net/need/list?Id=2919

Number four - sort of

I am training to do a half marathon through team in training for lls.org (a organization near and dear to my heart.)

Lots of training ahead. Better eating. No more soda. I can do this. I will do this. Because I thought 40 may not happen. Now on my 40th birthday I can embrace it and run / walk 13.1 miles. Go me :)

If you want, here is my fundraising link

http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/nikewhlf14/jendoherty

Number Three

Ok, so I admit this is a stretch. But friends and Jay (my husband) say it counts. So. Hi, I am Jen. I am addicted to Starbucks. I am specifically addicted to the Pumpkin Spice Latte. Well, we went to Starbucks today and I ordered one. The guy stopped and told me we may have a problem. He went and checked I guess the base of the latte. There was just enough. I got the last PSL at that store. That doesn't happen every day. So after I shed a tear (because my PSL are over til fall) , I got my drink and am happily enjoying every last sip.

Number Two

This is a simple one, but I snuck a love note into my husbands lunchbag. Silly, but it was new, after 14 years of marriage it is hard to come up with new things, so this was one simple way. And since he is leaving soon to serve our country overseas, these little moments count.

Number One

Today 1/2/2014 I did my first new things before I turned forty. I paid for the person behind me in Starbucks. Or in all honesty, I was waiting for my drinks in a dead store (it was snowing hard)  and some guy came in, so I went up and offered to pay for his drink. I told him why I was doing it. After he looked at me like I was insane and kept staring at me, he agreed. So to the stranger at Starbucks , I hope you enjoyed your brownie and coffee on me.

(I decided to do photos after, so no photo in the store.)

The reason for the blog....

In 2012 I was diagnosed with AML. Since then it has been a roller coaster ride. At one point I was funeral planning. So, to say I am very happy to greet forty is an understatement. So I decided to embrace it and attempt to do forty NEW things before I turn forty. I am still brainstorming ideas. Feel free to comment if you have one.